Make Me A Minister. Now!

The Prime Minister is looking for a new minister. It is said the cabinet expansion has been stalled due to the lack of proper candidates to become ministers. Not recognizing a qualified person like me is the PM's biggest weakness.

Wanting to become a minister is my birthright. You may know that the Constitution is silent on allowing you to think. What this means is that you can think as much as you want or not think as much as you want.

Big people say one should dream big. Great people say dreaming small is a crime. I am not Gen Z by age, but in spirit, I am entirely one of them. Moreover, my children are Gen Z. Therefore, I understand very well the meaning behind their satisfaction, their dissatisfaction, their hashtags and their posts. The initial ministers were not Gen Z either. And there is no rule that one has to be Gen Z - or be recommended by them - to become a minister.

I am a Brahmin, but not a casteist. I have friends from all castes, and what’s more, I have eaten at their homes. That is why I can be a bridge between all communities.

I am a journalist. I know the art of changing the angle of a story. That is why I can change the angle of the country's problems, too. Reporting can shake the government, writing can spark debates, and with words, I can settle an agenda. Didn't you see? During the Gen Z revolt, a single news report turned a five-star hotel into ashes!

Then, if you don't make a person as capable as me a minister, who will you make? However, it’s not my job to think if I am worthy of becoming a minister or not. To me, thinking is like flying a kite. Your dreams will soar into the sky only if you hold the string!

A politician from my neighborhood once told me – “It is a sin for you to dream of becoming a minister or Prime Minister. You are a journalist, a satirist, and a writer – nothing more. Keep writing and find your happiness in that. Dream of earning a bigger salary. That also suits your personality. Why poke your eyes into the torn dreams of others? If you must dream, then you can dream of winning prestigious awards like the Madan Puraskar, the Jagdambashree Puraskar, the Sajha Puraskar or the Pragya Puraskar. Thousands have applied for these honors. Even if you also apply once, it will not cause any financial burden to the government. That, after all, should be the grandest dream for someone in your field.”

I objected, “You are breaking my courage. In a democracy, everyone has the right to dream whatever they want.” He smiled and said, “In a democracy, truthfully speaking, the people can dream only what the government wants them to dream. Dream of development – irrespective of whether it is fulfilled. But if you dream other dreams, you will be considered a traitor. And, also keep in mind that a ‘mob’ is not blind and deaf like the law. There are no lawyers in the court of the mob, nor do you have to take a date for a hearing. The mob has neither a parliament, nor a Singha Durbar, nor the Supreme Court.”

I did not like what he said. I am a sensitive writer who wants to be the voice of the poor, the indigenous, the Dalits and the marginalized. Whatever I write – however provocative or unconventional it may seem - is ultimately written for their good. I am so courteous that I do not call a house thief or tax evader a thief. Because, after all, they are small thieves. Here, those who loot the entire nation walk proudly in society, delivering fiery speeches and preaching morality. So, what’s wrong with me? What’s it that stops me from becoming a minister or even the prime minister? I may not have any clear policy or vision, but what difference does that make? Who in politics these days has one anyway?

“Look brother,” the politician began, “Dreaming alone doesn’t get you anywhere. You are only spoiling your own TRP by voicing such inappropriate notions. Only those who carry the mark of revolution, the pressure of Gen Z, or the backing of someone influential can dream of becoming a minister. If not that, then you need the heat of deception, the blaze of loud speech or the power of the mighty and the neighboring forces. There is no common or easy path to such dreams; it is not something any Tom, Dick and Harry can achieve just by puffing out his chest and holding his head high.”

“I am not just any random person,” I replied in a slightly louder voice, “Ask the country’s renowned pundits - my lineage’s birth record is registered with them. I even know two or four YouTubers. I can give a louder, more nation-saving speech than anyone else. In fact, it’s not the minister I am fit for; I have the potential to become the Prime Minister.”

The politician laughed and said, “These days, ministers are not made by merit, but by hashtags. So, you’d better decide early whose blessings you want to seek. In other words, if you have such a great desire to become a minister, remember that it’s not about family ties or recommendations from leaders like us. These days, a nod from the Gen Z boys and girls carries far more weight. Haven’t you realized even this much yet?”

But I am thinking - I don’t even know the Prime Minister personally. To fulfill my dream of becoming a minister, which Gen Z group should I turn to now? Because the Gen Z groups are not all the same. Therefore, you, too, should recommend my name. After all, just as those who are in jail or those who have held high positions and still failed at their duties have pushed themselves forward to become ministers, my name too should set social media buzzing! The country is waiting for someone versatile, multilingual, multiethnic, and with a broad outlook — someone like me.

The main point is that after I am made a minister, all the problems of the country will be solved automatically. Because I can even change perspectives - turn black into white, defeat into victory, corruption into opportunity and failure into 'vision'. Therefore, making me a minister means liberating the country and stopping me means stopping national progress. Now that there is nothing left to burn, the country must be run. To run the country, there must be ministers. Therefore, make me a minister at once. Right now! 

This article was originally publihsed in November 2025 issue of New Business Age magazine.