Hail Us the Idiots!

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Hail Us the Idiots!

--BY MADAN LAMSAL

Nepal was a country of agriculture. Because it was dominated by occupations based on agriculture. But that is passé.  Nowadays, many have started calling it a country of tourism, or even a country of hydropower. However, to tell you the truth, Nepal is chiefly a country of idiots. Because it is dominated by them. 

The idiocy thrives not just today; in fact, we have always had a proud history in this regard. In our country, there are a huge number of idiosyncratic examples that have helped Nepal achieve a world record in idiocy. We should not forget our history. Ranas killed a thriving entrepreneurial class. Later, it is said, they refused British proposal to give us land that would expand our border to the sea. Around 1990, the politicians, with the help of the people, brought democracy to the country. The politicians then changed that democracy into a kakistocracy (a rule by the most stupid, least qualified and unscrupulous people) - through their education system, taxation system, agricultural system, DV form filling system, bureaucratic system and the “good” political and economic systems. 

Recall the story about the early age stupidity of Kalidasa, the famed poet of Sanskrit language. Thank the later developments that changed him into a great poet. But the idiocy that we Nepalis have now is much more than what Kalidasa’s that story says. For example, we call ourselves an agricultural country but we import far more agricultural produces than we produce here. We say we are rich in water but our villages as well as cities do not have enough water even for drinking.

We have created so many records for stupidity in every sector that even Kalidasa looks wiser than us. It’s a different thing altogether that Kalidasa was able to elevate himself from a fool to a great wise man later. He changed his path. But we don’t want to be wise. We were idiots, we are idiots and will remain idiots. We can proudly say that today we have been doing many stupid or idiotic things. Just look at the posts shared on tweeter and facebook, at those who lose money lured by spam mails, at those who think government-bashing on Facebook will cure all our ills. 

Mithila Drama Art Council has been organising the ‘Mahamoorkha Sammelan (the Great Fools Conference)’ for the last 23 years in the country’s southern town of Janakpur. At the conference, the participants vie with each other to grab the title of Mahamurkha (the Greatest Idiot). But the great fools chosen there are actually not fools. They are poets, writers, teachers etc. They are fake fools. They are quite different to the idiots in real life. Now who is going to tell the fake fools that it’s far better to be a real idiot than a fake one. Because this is the real art. What is more blissful than becoming a real idiot? Remember the saying “Ignorance is bliss”? That’s why the person who succeeds in making himself a real idiot will get everything he needs in life. He will feel at peace and think that is what prosperity means. Those who have not understood this mystery try to make others into fools, instead of becoming fools themselves. In return, they get only pain and hardship. Look at our very own politicians.  Most of them have kept some real or fake fools around them so that they can look wiser! They give the people only assurances and promises and in return get posts and money.  But are they really happy? Definitely not. But neither their faces and nor their behaviour show this. 

That’s why they are always in the rat race of making others into fools. Yet they do not look happy anywhere. In search of peace or pleasure, they go to gambling houses or to the rooms of someone else’s woman and some of them even get caught jailed. And after nothing works, they go to temples and offer donations to please the gods and get happiness and peace in return. If the traffic police are not happy when you offer even a few hundred rupees, how then, can the gods be!

Therefore, it is not possible to get the joy one gets in becoming an idiot oneself by making others idiots. When anyone fools you, and if you turn introspective and try to look inside yourself, then you will only see an animal inside you. Or you may not see anything. It’s not necessary to be an animal to become an idiot. Just being a voter is enough. Voters are fooled not just on April 1, but for up to five years! For five years the voters remain in a state of bliss!

Truly speaking there are only advantages in becoming a stupid person.

The biggest advantage is that you are spared the loss you would have to bear for being wise. For example, if you have earned the identity of a stupid person, nobody gives you more responsibilities - at office or home - thinking that you are a stupid person.

Some even call a stupid person an ass. But the truth is there are no signs of stupidity in assess. An ass is peaceful, well-mannered, and loyal to its owner; it is satisfied even if you give it little to eat. So comparing a stupid person with an ass is an insult to the latter which is honest, obedient, hardworking and civilized. We don’t want to be ass. We want to be idiots. 

Therefore, it is the need of the hour to make Nepal a country of idiots. If you want to live happily and peacefully in this modern world, then that is possible only by becoming an idiot. 

Therefore, let’s pray to Lord Pashupatinath that He help us become greater and greater fools and provide more and more idiots and fools to the country so that this government’s untiring and stupid efforts to make Nepal into a country of trains and tunnels and to make it the world’s most prosperous nation goes unhindered. 

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